immortal painting poetry

You’re my Immortality | Poetry


36
8 shares, 36 points

When I think about you today
I feel that you are my lost memory
Which is so lost to be mine…
I want you to know that your name smells the same even today
That actually nothing has changed ever since you have left
That the indifferences are still standing tall…
I want you to know that the white handkerchief
That you dropped down the table when we first met
Was not actually lost, I stole it while you were busy searching for the waiter
I want you to know that I still have it
But now, I don’t look at it.
It lies safely amidst the little chits we exchanged over the years
It sleeps safely in a small coffin that I have placed in the corner of my cupboard
Under the layers of time and books
The fragrance that it had died down long back
It is bleak and faded today
I tried to blow some life into it but let me tell you
Dead people can never come back
And so does dead memories,
The tiny black coffin at the end of my cupboard
Holds those years for me which are not even in the calender
It has my saffron that could never mingle with your green
It has my green which you saffron, could never embrace
It is a coffin of my feelings I never looked back to
It is a coffin of my feelings which is still alive
It’s a tombstone,
Tombstone of your love that never was for me
It’s a graveyard
A graveyard of my memories which lives only in my heart
It has the letters of my solitude which I wrote in the middle of the nights
Lying half asleep half awake on my bed,
Shattered , broken
Like a mother, who had lost her baby
It has my entire life and just a phase of you…
It has more of me and less of you…
It also has the letters,
The two letters that you wrote to me
I hope you remember them,
The words drizzled less on the pages and more on my heart…
The Pencil that you used, the pens that you chewed while writing them
Have been a delight to me
That words that you scribbled on them in your unique handwriting
Which only I could decipher
It lies in a dustheap of time
Layers beneath the layers
Hiding and hiding and capturing the truth
That I was unaware of…
When I think about you today
I feel you’re my lost questions…
Questions, which I never asked
Questions, which grew only after you had left
Questions, which are my cage even today,
Questions, I knew the answers to even before you stole your eyes
Questions, which are just a habit now
Nothing more, nothing less…
Questions, that rendered me helpless in my own skin
Questions, I no longer want the answers of…

When I think about you today, I feel
You’re the colour of my skin
Something between saffron and green
Something between the shades of trust and loyalty
Something more than life and death
Something,
Something that separates me into two halves
One is yours and one is mine
One is truth and one is lie….
When I think about you today,
I feel you’re the love that we made
Curled up into each other
As if there is no tomorrow
As if there are no sorrows
Your arms holding me in the
Feeble moonlight coming through the window left a little ajar
Making a moonlit Pattern on your face,
Like a canopy of hope under my tresses…
The kisses were not placed on my skin anymore
But on the soul which you never shared with me
Just when the clock stopped and the moment froze
And our bodies shimmering with the sweat that we shed
And the only sounds were the sound of our breath
Not too loud and not too soft
My hopes sleeping next to you
My dreams lying on your lap
My fears melting over your body
My love scattered all over you
It was only in those moments
When I forgot to peer into the depths of your eyes
I forgot to notice the change in the colour of your skin
I forgot to notice the change in the taste of your kiss
I forgot to see that you loved Every bit of Her, in me
I forgot to read the lines scribbled in the corners of your heart
That Lying with me, you were actually thinking about her…
How I couldn’t see that you,
You were never mine…
When I think about you today
I feel that you’re the whiskey that I tasted after you
Just as it drowned in my blood and hit me
I blabbered everything which I, somewhere, always wanted to say
And when the euphoria reached my head
The world faded and you,
You were the only name that escaped my lips,
Just like the old Melody being played on a radio
You were the only song, the only poem I could never walk past
The only melody that makes me rejoice,
You, are the whiskey that I tasted after you
It was bitter and it was drenched in pain and so was I
When I think about you today,
I feel you’re the only man I trusted after my Dad
As blind and careless
As soft and tender as my Dad’s kiss on my cheek
As humble and polite as his voice was
Today, I have neither my Dad,
Nor I have you…
Just before I lost him,
I lost you…
When I think about your today,
I feel you’re the cigarettes that I puffed after you
I could feel you when the smoke went inside my mouth
It reminded me of the kisses that we shared
It reminded me of your dark lips and smoky breath
Your deep sorrowful eyes,
Your tender Aching heart
It reminded me of you…

When I think about you today, I feel you
Are my immortality
You lived in me and you still does
While I, could never live in you…
I died in you long back…
Dear memory
When I think about you today,
I feel you’re my immortality…
You are and you will always be
I never was, and I, will never be



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