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✍I am fine… I am fine

Telling this to mind…every moment…

Every second I look into the mirror.

I see myself torn, ripped, broken apart, shattered into pieces.

I see the scars on my body,

My breasts are torn apart,

My body is wounded with his nails,

My face is beautifully designed with his handprints.

But…I m ok!! I SAY I AM OKAY!!

Who saw??…the scars in my mind!!

My wounded soul, my frozen heart.

When I close my eyes…I can only see that DAY!

THE COLOURFUL DAY!

THE BEAUTIFULLY COLOURED BLACK DAY!

He tore my clothes…

Pressed my breasts…

Kissed me all over..and…

EVERYTHING WAS OVER!

EVERYTHING…WAS OVER!

I couldn’t scream…

For each sound I made, I was BEATEN…

He stared at my lips…

Kissed it hard…

Bit my lips until it bled…

All I could do is…

Scream without any voice

I can feel the sound of my heart…

Being SHATTERED.

The DELS of pain I am bearing…

Cannot be measured…

Where is the field of science??

Which scientist is daring enough…

To find an instrument…

Strong enough to measure…

The mental and emotional pain I faced!!

YES!! I AM FINE…I AM FINE

I tell myself every moment..every second…

I can smell him in my body…

Like a deodorant that will…

Never go away…

Even after dipping myself in the GANGES…

That night…that DREADFUL night…

I cried…cried..and cried…

So loudly that the stars could hear…

But…no one…no HUMAN…

CAME FOR A HELP!

So busy they were…

In their fast and furious world!

I didn’t shower that day.

I was tired and exhausted…

My body was paining…

My breasts were dreadfully red…

My lips were black…

Next morning…the sun was on time…

I barely could open my puffed up eyes…

Covered up with an eyeliner…

My lips made bright with a red lipstick…

That moment I felt thankful for that invention…

I went out normally with a pasted smile…on my face…

I couldn’t walk properly…

It pained deeply somewhere…

Someone asked… what happened??

I smiled and told…just a fever!

Days passed and nights spend crying…

One day…

I woke up to a frozen body and a mind…

I couldn’t move…I couldn’t cry!!

I couldn’t express anything…

But I kept on trying…

Trying to move my frozen hands back and forth…

Trying to rub my frozen hands to bring the warmth in me…

I want to live… I want to live…

I LOVE MY LIFE…

Even at this devastating moment…

Where I can only see dried Gulmohar forest…

I walked past the forest…for long…for long…

I saw that one tree…just one…

Just one leaf in that completely dried forest…

Fresh and green..even in the scorching sunlight.

Yes…that is my ray of hope…

That is my ray of hope…

I still believe…

I still hope…

I still pray that,

A person will come…

With a blanket of love…

To melt away my frozen mind and body…

Whose touch can blossom the flowers of hope in me…

A wait…a long wait…✍

thulasi bala poetry
Thulasi Bala

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Yet I pray for the wings, while I'm still drowning.

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