I never thought I would talk to you ever again in this life. I say this not because I hate you. I can never hate you. How can I? In fact, I am afraid of your hatred. “Tum naraz hongi mujhse. Bohot naraz”, I know. and you should be. My decisions have been a reason for your misery. I never wanted this. I swear I never. You know why I couldn’t contact you all these years? Because I had nothing to say. I thought I will never show you my face again. I didn’t know how would I look into your eyes I have been the reason of your misery and now when I am thinking about seeing you again, I didn’t know what do I say to you? You know I am bad with words.
You know I could never express myself. It was you who would read stories my eyes. I couldn’t get another Aayat Shaikh !and honestly, I didn’t even try for it. Aayat, when you left, I thought I was strong enough to bear a separation. I thought I was practical and that I could move on in my life. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I don’t know. I thought I was playing my cards right. But God has some other plans for me. Aayat, you remember we had an argument once over a book by DurjoyDatta which was supposedly your favourite at that time.
“Till the last breath”, where the protagonist “Pihu” was suffering from ALS (Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis). You made me read that too because you wanted to share your pain with someone because Pihu died and Arman was alone now.
“Jab do logon ki ek mohobbat se koi ek chala jaaye, to doosra zinda kaise rehta hai? kyun wo mar nahi jaata?”
you said and as usual I laughed at your stupidity of taking stories too seriously. And after that, We fought over who is going to die first between us.