This is mostly what covers my life in Room 902. Desolation and persistent isolation from the people around me, and I kind of like it. I like to not be surrounded by people when I need privacy. And in my case, I need privacy at least 24 hours a day. People have heard of stories about 902 while only a few of them know what my life is like inside that tiny room which is probably the size of a kitchen at your home. But anyway, I don’t mind it, in fact, I love the coziness of it. Attached to it is my balcony, the view of which always leave me spellbound. I have been watching the same clouds, same trees, same rain from 3 years now and still, it evokes more or less the same emotions in me. However sometimes the rain tastes different, the clouds feel better and at times the dense sky makes me sad. And it all depends on the seasons inside me. Sometimes I have laughed in my balcony Just thinking of an old memory and sometimes I have cried waiting for a phone call which never came. Sometimes I have laughed at those two squirrels passing by one after the other chasing each other like Tom and Jerry and sometimes I have shed tears upon seeing an injured pigeon. All alone.
I enjoy everything from a tiny little sparrow flying over my head to an eagle which reminds me to always keep my head high no matter what … To those two pigeons who visit my room when they shiver during rains and winters and cuddle each other under my room cooler and sometimes under my study table (which I never used for studying). I have filled myself with the stunning view and I feel elated for life.
I feel grateful for having found this little abode for myself. So now I know what making a home would feel like. This is indeed my home and I know how badly I am going to miss this. Actually this is the problem with me. Excessive attachment and over emotional connect with anything or anyone makes you weak. It doesn’t let you move on. No matter how beautiful my time have been here, I know I can never have this for life. But still, I am making new memories with it every single day !
And it is probably because this place
During last winters, around January, the breeze was mesmerizing and I enjoyed the morning drizzle too.
However the feeling is probably lost now which is why I am feeling lost.
It is to remind me that no matter what, nothing should define your life other than you. Here, a simple morning breeze and the shadow of those trees which were there affects me. I need to realise trees are not eternal. They are mortal just like most of us are. I need to understand that leaves undergoes a process of wilting. No matter how much water you add on to the wilting leaf, it will never be fresh and green again.
To all those moments in my life which have gone by longing for those trees to grow again and that breeze to come back and to feel that morning drizzle in my father’s green jacket once again, this i the break !